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Have you sent money to Russian scammers? File for criminal prosecution Have you encountered a visa-and-tickets scammer? Participate in a research study!
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Romonova Ludmila(uses the same address and pictures as letters as Shustova Natalia) Petrovsk (Saratov area), Russia
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Tel: not specified Address: 50 LET OKTYABRYA PROEZD, 128A SARATOV , 410052 Email: fireball@bamut.com DOB: APRIL 21, 1977 Submitted: 11/17/05 Information about the scammer:
return to black list of individual scammers
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Mon Sep 05, 2005
Hi, my new friend Chris! I am very
glad that you have answered my letter. First of all I want to apologize
for non-answering
sooner. I haven't computer at home. It is difficult for me to answer
your letter at once.
Thank you that you have found time for answer. I think that you have
many questions about
myself. I will try to answer them. I don't know what to begin with to
tell you about myself.
OK, I will try to begin. My full name is Ludmila . How your full name?
I am 28 years old.
My birthday is on the 21th of April 1977. My height is 5 feet 6 inches.
My weight is 115 pounds.
As you see on my photo I have blue eyes color and my hair color blonde.
I have serious intentions
and I do not want to make a wrong choice. I have tried to write to you
and now I see that you have
answered to me, I think we can begin to correspond with you. Is it
true? We are two people which
want to meet someone. I think we can try to know better each other but
if you don't want it's your choice.
I live in the city Petrovsk.Saratov area. Petrovsk is located in 90
kilometers from the city of Saratov.
In Russia Saratov the big and known city located on The river Volga. I
began to get education
in the secondary comprehensive school, in Petrovsk. After I finished
it I entered the
Pedagogical college. After I finished of college, I entered Pedagogical
University Sports faculty.
Now I work in sports club. I the instructor on swimming. I train in
swimming of children from 5 - 12 years.
We have a small collective, but very friendly .Chris, I shall have an
opportunity to send you
letters only from Monday till Friday, and sometimes on Saturday,
because I haven't got a computer at home.
I use a computer at my work. On work I can use a computer almost
freely. So it is more convenient for me
to write you from my work. I really would like to know your interest,
your race, languages which you
speak, a hobby? Tell me a little more about yourself. I also shall tell
about myself more
in the following letter.I send you my picture. I hope to you it is
pleasant.
I will waiting for your letter and your picture with impatience.
Ludmila.
Fri Sep 09, 2005
Chris!"Hi Chris! I am very glad that I have chosen you
from all the others who were at the site. I already wrote to you, that
I work as the teacher of swimming. I train children in swimming. And
one woman who came to our club to train the son, has told to me, that
she has met on the Internet with the man from America. And soon she
visit to him. She has told, that the American men differ from the
Russian men. This woman her name Vera, she has told, that the American
men very noble people and they are able to appreciate women. I have
explained to her, that I lonely and at me was not present the man. And
I have asked her to help me will get acquainted with American the man.
She has agreed, and has registered my profile, I did not know as it to
make. And the Vera has registered my profile and has thought up the
name of my Email address. Tomorrow she leaves for New York, to the to
the man. He has invited them together with the son.Soon they want get
married, I am very glad for Vera. Now I wish to tell about myself. I
never have been married and I want to marry. What I am looking for in a
man especially is friendship, long term friendship. But, I dislike
arguing, bickering and that type of stuff, someone easy going is good.
I want someone who wants to have fun, but understands life is not
always fun. I need someone who is honest and caring,warm and sexy. I
believe there needs to be a good attraction between the two people too.
I want to have a boyfriend for a while who later if everything is right
could be more. The most important parts of a relationship is love,
trust and communication.But, without trust the other two do not matter.
You cannot communicate with someone, no matter how much you love him or
her, without trusting them. Love is important, but you have to trust
the other person implicitly to truly love them, because you need to
know they love you back for it to be real. You have a question
’’Why Russian women look for their husbands abroad”. I think there are
a
lot of reasons and I will start with an economic level of Russia. Our
country is not rich and its very difficult to find a good job. Russian
men can’t earn enough money to keep their family.They begin to drink
alcohol and become angry. It gets on divorce. Even if they get much
money, they also begin to waste them on alcohol or other women. They
are all “the
ladies’ men”. In our country a number of women is more than men. In our
country a
number of women is more than men. So men try to low women, though a
woman is stronger
physically and psychologically . She manages a household, brings up
children and has a constant work in the same time. There is an opinion
that Russian men in degradation now. I want to get married abroad as
I’m concerned
about my future. I want to have an ordinary, calm life though I must
leave my friends and change culture. It’s very difficult.
There are many men here that would like to be a part of my life but a
lot of them have been married before and have kids and are bitter about
marriage all together. Some of them have trouble opening up and showing
there true feelings and there are the ones who lie, cheat and
disrespect any man they get involved with.These are only a few reasons
why I am still single, I think it is better to be lonely than to be
with someone and be miserable. So, my search for that perfect man
continues, maybe my searching will end with you.I hadn't time to say
about it in my last letter, because I write letters to you on my job as
I have no a personal computer. I have no children but I would like to
have them.I think that I would be a good mother. I not when did not see
my parents. My parents have left me in a orphanage. I had a sister her
name Nelia, she was more senior than me. In the past to year she has
died of heavy illness. It is not pleasant to me to recollect my
childhood. I grew in the orphanage where there was a lack of parent's
warm. I know, how it is hard to not have relatives. So I am ready to
give my future husband and children everything. They won't be lonely,
because I will encircle them with warm and love. Living in orphanage
I've understood the real values of the life: do kindness to people and
it will come back to you doubled. There are a lot of problems in
Russia. People became evil and closed. That's why I decided to find a
friend abroad Russia. So I have told you my dreams. May be they will
not come true but these are my dreams. And what about your dreams?
I like to visit cinema. I like to read books. I love various
music.I love the Madonna and George Michael and many others. In America
many great musicians. I don't know if you have heard the Madonna song,
"Crazy for you"? I LOVE that song. this slow, romantic type song. I
love many the Russian musicians. For example Filip Kirkorov and group:
Sunday and B-2. But you likely do not know them. And my favourite
movies -Sisters and Tired by the Sun. They are masterpieces of the
Russian cinema. The American movies in Russia have a huge popularity.
They are considered to be the greatest. I like very much the American
movies and I like many American actors. I often walk in the forest, I
like to go camping or by bicycle on Summer.I have own bicycle. In
Winter I go skiing and
skating. All these distract me from everyday problems.So what do you
do, when you have problems and when you are sad? My hobby, if it's
possible to tell so is the English language.I have loved English long
ago, when I studied at school. In Russia the program of training
necessarily includes foreign language, as a rule - English, German or
French. I entered in group of the English language and I am still happy
that I've made it. I like very much your language. After school, I
continued studying of English language in the institute. It is a very
soft and easily-memorized language for me. Now I attend courses of the
English language. I've been studing your language for 16 years. I want
to learn this language perfectly. I know that now I admit mistakes, but
I hope you won't angry. I have spent all my working day what to write
this letter.(Smale)
I will be very grateful to you if you will send me your picture.
I am waiting your response Chris.I have
many ideas, but I do not want to rush this precious moment when two
souls are looking towards each other across the continents for an
everlasting friendship.
I send you my picture, this picture has been made it in the winter.
Yours friend Ludmila.
P.S. About the hurricane in yours country. I heard it from TV of news
I know that the death toll is over one hundred and raising. My heart
goes out to the family of those people also. And all of my prayers are
going out to all of the victims and victim's family that went
threw this horrible hurricane.
Tue Sep 13, 2005
Hi Chris!
How your day? I hope you are glad to receive my letter because when I
have received your letter I really was delighted. Many thanks. I beg
you please
forgive me, that I didn't answer your letter earlier. As you know, I
don't have
a computer at home and that's why I am writing you from my job.I work
from on
Monday till Friday and sometimes on Saturday. My working day begins at
8:00 and arrives to the end at 19:00. But it is not easy
too, because my boss doesn't let use the computer with private
purposes. We do not
have unlimited Internet access on a work. I use computer secretly to
write you(when my
boss is not at the office). Internet is expensive in Russia. My
monthly earnings of
9000 roubles, it about 310 American dollars. But this money suffices me
and even is
possible save my money.I have few friends. But now I have found you,
Chris! I am
very glad and I shall think of you. I tried to find love and happiness
here,
but I have tested man's roughness and disrespect. It has wounded me. I
want to
find the partner in life, together to enjoy life and to go in the
future.Therefore,
I have asked Vera about the help to search for me the best right man.
Vera has told to me,
that for one month of correspondence with man from America, they have
grown fond each other.
I had sincere surprise, that after a month of communication with the
man on the Internet
they have warm feelings to each other. Vera promised me, to write me
when she will be
in America. She very good woman and I very grateful to her.I want to
find the man, with
whom we shall create the world of love, kindness and honesty. In the
guy I want to see
honesty and kindness. These are the main things because the lie and a
rage spoil any
relations. I like cheerful people. I do not love men who do not have
self-respect.
The heart of the man is most important. I want to be honest and frank
with you, that's why
I ask you not to deceive me. There is a proverb in Russia: Bitter truth
is better than
sweet lie. I am sure that you are an honest man and you can't lie. Am I
right? After all my
stories you may think, that everything is bad, but it is not true.I
already told
to you, about that as, my parents have left me in a orphanage . Now, I
wish to tell
about very good about my sister Nelia. When to my sister became the
adult and independent woman,
she has taken away me from a orphanage. She earned enough money, she
brought up me and
paid for mine education. Nelia loved me as, the native daughter. She
was a Great person.
Nelia was a very intellectual and educated woman. She taught me many
things: how to lay the
table correctly, how to behave at the table, to put the tablewears, to
behave in mundane
society and many other things. She taught me manner to be dressed and
to go correct and
beautifully. I loved her like my mother.And I tried to do all to be
worthy
her love. Nelia always told me that one should look at difficulties
with smile, not
mentioning that there is a shout of despair in the throat and there are
tears in
eyes. One should be strong and proud - as my sister was. Nelia, has
decided to get married,
but her marriage was not successful and she had to leave from the
husband.
Her husband, drink vodka and beating Nelia. She has told to me, that I
never would not
repeat her life experience. She had no her own children.And now I live
one in an apartment.
Nelia has bequeathed me everything that she had: this is an apartment
and jewelry which she
has got . This is a very beautiful necklace ring set with a stone and
bracelet. This is a
historical value, and I cherish it very much. It is very offensive for
Russia. When Russia
loses such people such as Nelia, it's loses the particle of its great
culture.
Forgive me that I have told you about this so in detail. But when I say
about her
I can't do it in couple words. I loved her very much and that's why I
told you
little things about her. Forgive me. I decided to share my
recollections with you
as with a friend, because I didn't speak about her with anybody for a
long time.
Forgive me that my letter is sad, big and uninteresting. Simply when I
begin to
say about my Nelia I can't stop. But I promise not to write such
letters anymore.
Thank for your picture. It is a fine picture. You such strong and
handsome man. Forgive, that I such immodest. I very much love this
picture. It is wonderful, when a man combines force and charm. It
happens
so seldom. Once again forgive me for my frank words. But I always talk
what I think. I think there is nothing bad in it.
Now I must finish my letter. I wait anxiously for your answer.
Also I want to ask, have you ever had a friend from the other country?
Is it important for you the nationality of the person ?
What foodstuff, you like?
Yours friend Ludmila.
P.S. I send you a picture which have been made this summer.
Thu Sep 15, 2005
Hi My Dearest friend Chris
I'm very glad to see your letter and I think you will glad to see my
too.I very much like to cook. If I had no my profession, then I
probably
would be the cook. Cooking is fundamental to a healthy,
nurturing family life. I know many recipes of dishes. I like tasty and
healthy food. It is very important for me because I very much keep up
my figure(body). And it's reason, that I should refuse many kind of
food.
Especially I love okroshka . The basic components of okroshka:
hard-boiled eggs, boiled potato, sour cream, an onions and the most
important -
kvass. I am sure that kvass cook only in Russia. Kvass is a freshening
drink
which cook from a mix of rye and barley malt, rye flour or rye
zwiebacks,
sugar and water with the subsequent fermentation. But it is not an
alcoholic drink! It has surprising taste. I spend much time on kitchen.
I had a dreams about you Chris I really want to know you, speak
with you, take your hand and see your eyes. Maybe it's very frankly now
but it's true and I don't want to hide it. I always say the true and
don't like when the people are lie. I hate it.I like to dream very
much.
I can safely tell, that I adore travel. Unfortunately outside Russia I
was not.
Likely it is very interesting. I travelled travelled across Russia
much: to Moscow,
Suzdal, Ivanovo, Saint Petersburg, Anapa .I dream, sometime to travel
very far.I
do not know well if it is good or bad.But I am a dreamer. Since the
childhood I
have dreamt very much.My teacher in the told us: "Forget about your
dreams!" She
said that dreams do not bring happiness. She said that dreams bring
only a pain
and disappointment. May be she was right. In fact dreams don't always
come true.It
happens that you put all forces and all aspiration to achieve the
purposes. But often
it is not enough. Not all in this life depends on us.There is still a
Destiny!
Its strong and invisible hands easily reshuffle lives and hearts of
people.And
then the dream stops to be desirable star, when it doesn't come true
for a long
time. But anyway, I think that it is impossible to live not having the
dreams and
hopes. When you have a dream, the life is filled with sense.When there
is a dream,
the life becomes more interesting and more various. You start to think,
analyze,
choose and to make the decision. And each small victory, each defeated
obstacle
in a way to your dream, each next step to your dream brings you great
pleasure.
Your heart is filled with belief and hope. And you are inspired by the
fact
which waits for you in the end. You remember the pleasure of victories
and defeated aims better than pain of losses and disappointments. For
this
reason I like to dream, though my dreams come true very seldom. I am
surprised, that I am writing you all this. I have never had the person
with
whom I could share the ideas. But now I have found you, Chris, and I am
very glad. I don't judge people by where they are from or what color
they are.
You are a part of my life now. And I appreciate it very
much. Chris, you became very important for me. And being frank, I am
afraid to lose you. Forgive me for my frankness. If I have offended you
somehow, or have caused inconveniences forgive me please.
Do not cease to write to me. Write to me every day. Even if I cannot
answer every day. Your letters betray to me of forces and my day is
filled with pleasure. I hope that you do not become angry.
I will wait for your letter with impatience.
And now I want to ask to you some questions:
Chris, You love children and what, you think of children living in a
orphanage?
I heard, what in the USA, women do not like to prepare for a tasty and
healthy
meal and to do homeworks, it is valid - the truth?
Do you believe in love? Love at first sight?
By my dear friend.
Ludmila.
Mon Sep 19, 2005
Hi, my dear friend Chris I waited for this minute with impatience to
answer you.
Your letters have become so close to my heart that I am
glad to them like a baby. you write so beautiful letteres, I have never
heard such words in Russia. I think that Russian men don't know such
words at all. Your words are so pleasant that I feel myself on the
heavens. Please, write me every day at least two words, then I will
know that everything is OK. I will be calm for you and won't worry.
About love at first sight, if I didn't believe it then I would not be
talking with you. Every ones in a while you see a light peaking through
under a door. It acts as an invitation. Your first email was a small
light, when I opened the door on the other side was a whole new world
that I have never seen with you as the sun. Beautiful,amazing, and full
or wonder. This relationship we have started via email is the begining
of a life long friendship that might blossom into some thing more? Love
is such intoxicating narcotic, which makes do mad, but sometimes funny
actions. Only person in love can fill the whole bath with champaign,
only person in love can present the million of scarlet roses or stand
whole night under balcony of the loved woman singing serenades.
Today I talked with my boss, I asked him to use Internet at least 25-30
minutes
a day. He promised to think about it. I cant let him deprive me my
private live how much it cost me. The dearest I have is you Chris I
understood it clearly yesterday when I was walking in the park and
thinking about you. I was tired and sat down on the bench. I closed my
eyes and thought about you. A wind was blowing, it scutched my hairs
and enveloped my body by its chilly freshness. I don't know why, but I
thought that you changed in wind, and you tenderly touched my hairs
with you invisible hands. It seemed to me that I am situated somewhere
there with you. And my heart began beating as never before. I was so
pleasant that I was ready to yell from happiness. People who were
passing near me probably thought that I am crazy wnen they saw me
sitting on the bench with closed eye and smiling. But I didn't think
about their opinion.after work I will go home by foot. I like to walk
along the street and to breath fresh air, especially when the weather
is warm. As a matter of fact I don't want to go home. It is very boring
and lonely at home. Sometimes I don't mention it, but sometimes when I
come home with good mood, I want to talk very much, to share thoughts
with anybody, to have fun. But my flat is empty and I have to be in
full solitude. And my good mood disappears. I simply sit down in an
arm-chair and look at the window. And when the silence deafen me when I
hear as My blood flows in my veins, I hear movement of my eyelashes, at
that moment becomes unbearably and my heart compresses. I don't know
how to struggle with it. I can listen to music or read a book. But in
some moment I understand that I just deceive myself. In fact I want a
beloved person to be near me, with whom I could spend evenings, to meet
morning, to speak about yesterday and to dream about tomorrow day. I
want to walk and to feel a strong man arm holds me. I don't want to
cook meals only for myself. I want somebody to appreciate it. But
enough about it. I having not enough time.
Hi Chris, again. I began writing the letter in the morning. Now it
is 6 p. m. already. Can you imagine? I dreamt
in the childhood and I dream now. Of course, the world of dreams is an
illusive world. We live in a real life, so we can't to sink into the
world of dreams and phantasies for long. When a dream becomes
obsession, it can bring only pain and disappointment. Practically
dreams do not always realize. It happens that you use all power, all
aspiration to make the dream come true. But as much you try, not all in
this life depend on us. When the dream for a long time does not come
true, as though you did not try, dream ceases to be that star, which
was for you lighthouse in ocean of the life, which illuminated your
way. But anyway, I think that it is impossible to live without dreames
and hopes. When there is a dream, the life is filled with sense. The
dreams are those things that do us people that distinguishes us from
the whole rest alive world. The dreams contribute variety in ordinary
and grey life. The dreams force to think, analyse, choose and come to a
conclusion. The Faith and Hope - an eternal satellites of our lifes.
And regardless of what waits you at the end, joy of the victories and
subordinated tops we remember better, than disappointment and pain of
the defeats. You agree with me?I am surprised that I write you all
this. I have never had a person, with whom I could share my thoughts.
But now I have found you, and I am very glad. Forgive me for my
frankness. If I said something superfluous forgive me please. Do you
like when your friends come to your home? And you the quick-tempered
person? I have a very warm feeling inside from all the things you have
said
about, how you feel when you think of me. My day brightens tremendously
whenever I see an e-mail from you. I will wait for your letter with
impatience.
Kisses to you, Ludmila.
P.S. This picture has been made in the beginning of this summer on the
river the Medvedica. The river the Medvedica is in our city.
Thu Sep 22, 2005
Hi my dear and the distant friend Chris!
The only thing she lacks is simple warm and caress.
This is the problem of Russian men. The Russian lady
does everything for the man but she doesn't get anything from him. All
she needs is at least a couple of tender words and touching of his
hands. Isn't it so difficult? I think it isn't difficult to present
your
lady a romantic evening and a supper with candles, but in Russia as a
rule
a woman makes such a present but not a man. When a woman carries heavy
bags
in the street, no man will help her, he will only turn his look away
and go
farther. That's why the Russian lady never feels happy at her heart.
You say
that I am beautiful. In Russia I am not considered like a beautiful
lady,
Russian men usually treat ladies disrespectfully. They consider that
woman
only have to work, cook, wash up and entertain the man when he wants.
To
offend a woman is a usual thing for the Russian man.I like to cook and
wash
up but sometimes I would like to get simple caress, love and attention.
I don't want to offend all the men, there are good men but there are
few of them.Yes, a long time I loved a young man.We had good time
together.
We were not in a marriage but we we were together for almost five
years.
We had good time together. He was kind. But he liked to drink. When he
was
drunk he became an absolutely other person. He talked badly with me.
Later
his love to alcohol became a habit. He became rude and evil. He even
beat
me several times and next day he smiled and talked with me as if
nothing
happened to. I began to be afraid of him and I must leave him. My soul
was
wounded very much. After this I couldn't make to get acquainted with
another man.
Now I don't trust Russian men. I am afraid to give my love to somebody
and to get
rudeness back. I shall close this theme as it is not pleasant to me.
Thanks for new picture. I already spoke, that you a handsome man. Your
new picture confirm my words. You really very charming and attractive a
man and to look at you is very pleasant.
Chris , now I'd like to tell you about our small city.
I don't know if you have seen such houses. These are the houses
which were built before the second world war, in the fortieth years.
There are a lot of buildings, but they are not like in your country.
The highest has maximum 5 floors. And that is special for all cities in
Russia. I have some friends, but only one best friend. Her name Anna.
She lives in an old wooden house. Anna the unfortunate woman. Anna one
brings
up the son. Anna, had a husband his name was Sergey. Sergey has been
killed on
the Chechen war and now Anna brings up Ivan one. She has told, that the
most
valuable in her life, is her son Ivan. I completely agree with her. I
help Anna,
to bring up Ivan, in weekend we visit park, cinema, and sometimes we
go to fish.
We always spend our time together. My girlfriend Anna says that she
wants to live
in a quiet town. And I agree with her. A big city has a big traffic,a
fast rhythm
of life, garlands of fires, light shop windows, high buildings,
fountains, cinemas,
parks, theatres and attractions. It is wonderful, of course I like it.
But we have
so good places a zone of rest, a beach, parks. They are very beautiful.
If there were
no criminal,the place could be considered as a paradise. But alas, the
criminal in
big cities, as well as in the small ones is the worst part of our life.
Unfortunately
criminal in Russia is situated on a very high level. But I don't want
to tell about
these sad things. I must finish my letter. I don't want but I have to.
I want to ask
you what makes you happy Chris? What was the best gift that you got
from a woman?
Sincerely yours and with best wishes.
I am shy, but I kiss you hotly, my Chris.
Ludmila.
P.S. I send a picture me and my sister Nelia. This picture has been
made the last
summer. In one of clubs of the city of Moscow. Nelia was very cheerful
person and
liked to visit similar clubs. She even was able to play bowling.
My friends speak all, that we were very similar.
Sat Sep 24, 2005
Hi, my far, but dear friend Chris.
Many thanks for your letter. It was the long-awaited letter. I am
really madly glad to receive your letter. I am really glad that I have
found you.
I should tell to you that I have ocean of emotions and sensations
which I had no in my heart before. And on this, my reason and my heart
say
me that I should answer by sincerity your constant sincerity. My heart
and
my reason says me that I should tell what I feel now because it is a
part
of our friendship and I should share it with you. I should tell that it
was required two days to write and think over this letter, because I
wanted to say just the right things to you. I didn't want to offend or
upset you in anyway, and it really bothered me that saying something
wrong
may do that. I normally speak directly from my heart, and I am right
now,
but sometimes, words must be carefully chosen. I feel somewhat lost
when I
have no opportunity to use a computer to read your letter. In my soul,
I
feel contentment and joy when I think of you.
I have never done this in my life, (tried to initiate a relationship
halfway across the world), and I might have much to learn about how to
proceed, but I am more than willing to learn whatever it takes to
succeed
if that is your desire as well. I also believe that couples should be
the
best friends possible, which trust and share with each other everything
that they feel. I do not know if my word and thoughts make sense to
you,
and I try very hard to put them in typed words that you will feel and
understand. I believe in God, and I believe that I have been put
through
trials to prepare me for meeting a man with whom I will spend the rest
of
my life loving, to better appreciate him, respect him and cherish the
love, that he would give; only asking that I return the same. I hope
that
my words and letters are not boring to you, but they are much more than
mere words, they are my thoughts and feelings, and I send them out to
you.
I very much desire that you find it in your heart and are comfortable
with
sharing your personal feelings with me, I wish to know you on a more
intimate level, I would like you to share your dreams, your hopes, your
feelings of the heart with me, I truly wish to connect with you on a
level
that goes way beyond mere friendship. Please do not think me foolish
for
thinking these things, I believe that in order for anything to succeed,
you have to be honest, and that is what I am doing with you. Could you
close your eyes for just a minute, and think and dream of what a life
we
could share, what it would be like, the fun of learning each other. I
really believe that dreams do come true for people which dare to
believe
in dreams, because if they believe in them hard enough, dreams could
become in reality. I guess that you are shocked that I feel this way,
but
here, where I was raised, the gift of true love from a man is something
that is more similar to a Mirage or self-deception, rather than mutual
feeling which two enamored people can give each other. I hope that I am
not rambling on with my words. I have so much that I wish to share with
you, and each time I write to you, I feel there is never enough time to
say everything that I want to say, and I always feel that I have
forgotten
something important that I wanted to share with you. Chris, when I
speak of you and I think of you, it does not matter for me what anyone
else thinks. I want to tell that you are very beautiful for me. I mean,
I
find that you are not only attractive as a man, I also speak of the
beauty
that is within you, beauty of your internal world, and alas, this
particular type of beauty is very special and rare. Most men have only
appearances, but not have beauty inside, and this is where true beauty
is.
This, is that for me is the most important and significant in all
limits
of my character, my soul and my consciousness. Your words spoken to me
with so much kindness and care, they express the beauty within you. I
think that you are truly handsome, the essence of what beauty should
be,
and there is nothing that anyone could say to me that would compel to
change my mind even a little bit. I want to reduce essence of all my
letter only to one thought. I do not know if I could clearly explain
all
my thoughts and feelings, which overflow me now, or not. I want to tell
that I feel, we become very good friends and I really enjoy our
friendship. I aspire to learn you more and I dare to hope that you
suppose
a thought that our relations can develop more than it enough for simple
friendship. It is that way which I feel. As always I hope that my
letter
finds you in good health and spirits, and I hope that every yours wish
you
have comes true one day. I will look forward to your reply as always
with
anticipation and impatience....
With tenderness, Ludmila.
P.S. In this spring, I and my girlfriend Anna with son Ivan were on
fishing.
I shall not brag, that we have caught a lot of fish. Anna has made this
picture at that time when, I have fished.
Tue Sep 27, 2005
Hi my heart and my soul Chris! I have a friend Chris,
and I always think of him, I want to know all about him. Absolute
All! (Smile). Tell to me about your ideas and dreams. And now I
shall make it. Today my boss informed me, that I shall have 3
months of a vacation. As our building is in an emergency condition.
A building Our sports club will be closed on repair. Approximately in 3
weeks, and I shall have a vacation, but I was not pleased. I cannot
refuse
this vacation. In a building of our sports club will be is made, major
overhaul.
Repair will last 3 months.I have begun to cry, because it means that I
can't
write to you, I can't use a computer. I was so frightened that I can
lose you. I imagined that I should spend this vacation in my apartment,
between four walls. I should sit in loneliness and think of you. I
should aimlessly wander on streets and fall asleep with tears on eyes
every night. I have been waiting for my vacation in the next summer
and now I receive them but they don't bring pleasure to me.Because in
the
next summer, I cannot receive my vacation. I imagined
that I should spend some months without you and awful emptiness had
appeared in my heart. All world around became uninteresting for me and
I told myself:" NO! It is not for me!" Last night I thought of us.
About you and about me-about us together. I couldn't fall asleep. I had
been crying for a long time because of despair. My thoughts were mixed,
like inking waves during a storm, and I, like a small ship was sank in
the sea of despair. With the rising of sun I calmed and hold on myself.
And I have put a hard aim, the aim of all my life-to be with a man who
loves me and I love him by all my heart. I thought what I can do to see
you. I decided to spend this vacation with you. I thought what I can do
to meet you. Simply to meet. That's all what I want now.
I have passport, and also I need an American visa. Today I have
addressed in firm where the visas are made. I wondered how much it
would cost for me. They told me that this service would cost 300 USD. I
said it was very big money, and visa couldn't be cost so much. They
told that I could make all directly in Moscow where an American
consulate was. But I have considered that if I shall make directly in
Moscow, I will squander more money. The way to Moscow and back also
residing there will cost much. I shall squander more money than 300 USD
if I go there. Besides if my application isn't approved, it will turn
out that I squander all money for nothing. I have been explained that
it will be necessary to visit set of various departments, state and
medical institutions both in Saratov , and in Moscow. I must wait for a
long time the queue.. This agency allows to avoid many problems and to
make all for faster term. I asked how long it would take to make the
visa. I was answered that it would take about a week or may be 2 if
there were some troubles because of the terrible terrorist acts in USA
and the conflict with Iraq. And in this agency I was told, that they
need information about me from the police. If I am a law-abiding
citizen, I shall get the visa. I have never outraged the law. And I
have never done anything unlawful. I shall have preparation for
interview. It will help me to receive the visa. I understand that our
relations are not long yet, but I trust you. And I very hope so you
are, as I love you. Many years I ask myself a question:̉ Why everything
depends on money? I think that the money is not main thing in life. The
main is when the people can and want to understand each other. I have
some savings. And I think that ̉ll be enough to come to you, my
sweetheart.
Our love will overcome any distances. Live for LOVE!
When you Love, do it with all your might, all your Devotion and
for all eternity! I really think it's better to love and fail and not
having fallen in love at all. Since I started talking to you, I just
can't stop thinking of you Chris. I KISS YOU. Ludmila.
P.S. I have absolutely forgotten to tell, today I have received the
letter from Vera. She has written, that she's fine, she is very glad
as,
her has met her man she is happy with him. She has bragged to me, has
told that in Sunday, they will go to travel for one month. They plan to
visit Italy, France and probably Russia.I am very glad for Vera and
I wish their of good luck.
Thu Sep 29, 2005
Hi my heart and my soul Chris! How are you? I'm wonderful! Excuse me, that my letter will not be so long(smile). I have not enough time with official registration of papers. I spend all my time for this purpose. To begin carry out our meeting I'll be engaged in the international documents, passage of a medical commission and other things to prepare the document of travel in your country.Last night after my job I went to the church. I put a candle for ours with you happiness. I think that God will help us. I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you constantly. At my job everybody are surprised why I'm so merry. They don't know that I'm corresponding with you. Do you believe in love? One love and forever till the end of life. I believe.I believe in love. There are no the barriers for love. The age and distance are not important. When the people love he doesn't notice it. I believe that the day will come and our hearts will join. And the people will envy our happiness. Because we will come ourselves to our happiness. Nothing will happen if you sit and do nothing. And I believe that we will build our happiness. We will build it of the small bricks as Egyptian the Pharaones built their pyramids. And we will build our pyramid. And we will call it the love pyramid of Chris and Ludmila. I love you, my prince Chris. When, I shall have the full information on my visa, I shall inform to you exact date of my arrival to you. I think that when we shall meet, we together shall decide how many, I can remain with you. I have written this letter and recalled. I have forgotten to send you my kiss. I'm kissing you my love. KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS. Your love forever Ludmila.
Tue Oct 04, 2005
Hi my love.
How are you, my love Chris?
When I see your letter, my heart is similar to a bird in a cage. Wants
to
depart a breast and to fly to you. I never experience before similar.
I want to tell a history which I had yesterday. I have the big soft
toy,
a young dragon. It is my unique and the toy is favourite. I very much
love her, this dragon very beautiful and soft. This toy at me 2 years.
And all this time I as could not think up a name for her. I tried many
names.
I do not know why, but any name was not pleasant to me. But yesterday
when
I went to bed as usually I have put her near to me. I have looked at
her
and have casually made your name Chris. It has very much approached a
young dragon. Now I call him Chris and constantly I think of you.
I hope you not against, what I name my toy your name?
I'm missing you. When I go to bed I'm thinking about you. I'm
thinking about your letters. I think how it's good that I have met you
in the Internet. If I was told before, that I will meet my love in the
Internet, I would not believe this man. I would think, that this man is
crazy or joker. But it has happened. It has happened not to somebody
but to me. And I'm glad that the people invented the Internet. I didn't
think that it's possible to find my only love in the Internet. But I
have found. Please, don't give me up. It will be a strong pain for me.
I won't simply go through it. But I believe that you won't do it.
Excuse me for this short letter.
But today I have hardly found an opportunity to write even slightly.
With all my love.
Ludmila.
P.S. I send you a picture which have been made 3 years ago.
Thu Oct 06, 2005
Hi, my ocean of love Chris.
Every day I think about you and about our love. Our love resembles me a
little beautiful flower, which is entrenching through dry ground and
is
stretching to the sun. Our love is watered by a rain of kindness,
tenderness and trust. Every day our flower is becoming stronger and
harder.
Our love takes force from our letters. This is a thin thread which has
connected us. I am very glad that we build our small world of love
together.
Our world of love will be strong, because we build it from Devotion,
Probity,
Respects and Trust. Love - this is world for two persons, to which any
stranger can't come in, otherwise everything will be ruined. And then
it will
be impossible to collect rebuilt the splinters of the love. In Russia
people
say that Love is a great force. Love can overcome all the barriers and
distances.
Two loving hearts are streatching to each other like two magnets.
Our hearts are tired from loneliness, that's why they must be together
and
beat like one heart. Our hearts are like two great oceans. They are
vast and
very deep yet calm an peaceful on the surface. Our feeling run very
deep and
they are very strong. Sometimes we get afraid we will be pulled under
by the
current. I dream that our two oceans will meet in a powerfull wave that
will
shake the very earth. And when all is done there will be one vast
beautiful ocean, beauitful, powerful and forever...(one heart, one
ocean).
Dear Chris, when I shall receive the visa and I shall arrive to you,
we together should
decide how many I can to remain with you. My visa allows to remain
with you of 6 months, my vacation 3 months. If we shall decide, that we
belong
each other, as the husband and wife, then to me It is necessary to
return to Russia,
To make all necessary documents what for ever to remain with you.
Thanks for pictures. Your pictures like oxygen for me. I so like to
look at you.
You a most delightful man on a planet.
I ask to forgive me if I have told you something wrong, but these were
my thoughts.
May be I haven't answer some your questions.
When I get your letter I am so happy that i am forgetting about
everything.
I write you not with the mind but with the heart.
At this moment my mind is situated with you.
At this moment I am under your hipnosses.
My thoughts are only about you and soon we will be together.
Ludmila.
P.S.In July of this year, I travelled to Anapa to Black sea.
This picture has been made in July of this year on the sea.
Tue Oct 11, 2005
Hi my love Chris!
My working day has comes to an end and I am writing you now. My mood
is very good. Soon we will be together. Tell me that this is true.
I think that you are a honest, understanding and kind person.
From my life I have understood, understanding and respect the most
important in Relations between the man and the woman. It so is
important
for understanding and respecting not only The opinion, and even opinion
of other person. I studied psychology, and the main mistake Married
couples
is that everyone proves the correctness and does not want to recede
from
The opinion. Each person can be mistaken. In most cases because of
Such trifles there are quarrels and scandals. In fact it is much more
convenient to discuss a problem in To quiet conditions and together to
find the best exit. We in Russia have saying One head well, and two is
better (smile). I am right? Still I very much appreciate a true
friendship.
When I shall come you should acquaint me with yours Friends. I do not
want
to stand across you and your friends. The man should have The right to
communicate only the man's company, without women. But not all time
(smile).
Friends should so to meet, drink in a bar beer and messages man's
conversations.
I will love you in the future and I love you now. I am waiting for the
moment of our meeting very much. It so excites me. Yesterday when I
went to bed
I was thinking about you so much that I felt a little trembling in my
body.
I don't know why it happened to me but anyway it is something good.
I have strong embraced a Dragon Chris, and have fallen asleep.
I am finishing writing. I am thinking of you and writing you these
words. These words are coming from my heart. My heart is beating faster
now because of you. I reread all your letters and love you more and
more. I love you very much, I need you very much and I hope that our
meeting will be very very soon. I will write you later. I am still
waiting for you letters!!!
I hope very much that our love is forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The love of Ludmila and Chris is eternal !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With all my love,
Hot and passionate kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss for
you.
Ludmila!
P.S. Chris, write the exact, full name of the airport closest to you.
If your airport has a code, write a code of the airport and whether
planes from
Russia land there.
Wed Oct 12, 2005
Hello, my king Chris! How was your day? I'm wonderful. Every day I wait with impatience for your letters.But today, I have received not pleasant news from my girlfriend Anna. Anna has informed me, that her son Ivan is sick, and now he is in hospital. I have been very grieved, Ivan very good boy, and I always loved him, and assisted Anna to bring up him. I shall ask the god, about Ivan's health, and I hope his health will come in norm. I want to tell you how i spent my last weekend. I went to the children's shelter.It orphanage in which I grew.I help these children. Children which live there have no parents. Several times a month I visit this orphanage to give help of various sort. The state allocates very few money for the maintenance and contents of orphanages. Buildings are very old. But children don't have anybody to help them and to give them financial support. That's why some people voluntary render the feasible help. We help to repair in a building. Many walls don't have even wall-paper. Stucco has fallen off. The floors and beds are very old. The conditions are terrible. The meal is awful. The children practically have no toys. When I look at all this there are tears in my eyes . I am very for these children. My girl friend and I help to do repair. We glue wall-paper and paint the windows. We bring children new toys. You cannot imagine how children are pleased when we come. And they are glad not only because they wait for new toys, they wait for us. They require kindness and caress very much. If you saw as they were glad. I was glad doubly. Very much it is pleasant to me when these children are happy. It is necessary for them for happiness a little. I am very happy, that I shall soon with the beloved, and I want to divide happiness with somebody else. I'm sending you a small poem. Tell me if you like it. OK? Bright, eyes like heaven's stars, Lips so full I need to know - when will be he mine for all of time? His name is Chris He is my Prince I shall take him to the ball to dance in front of all. Midnight will come though he will not run. He will be mine to the end of time. I've prayed so long for one as this. With him beside me we will have bliss. Write back as soon as possible. I'm waiting for your letter. And I'm thinking about you. Kiss you. Your Ludmila. P.S. I think, that to you it is clear, that this picture is made in Moscow on Red square.
Fri Oct 14, 2005
Hi my Chris!
Thanks for your letter and for your words.
I so want that these days passed faster. I would like to close eyes
for one instant. Then to open and see you. But as though I did not try,
I
see the same things. I never flew in a plane before. And I should tell
that I am
afraid. I so frequently saw in TV-news about accidents, planes falling
when all passengers perish. I really am afraid. And I am afraid that I
will have feeling of a nausea. You should teach me how to not worry in
a plane. I would like to give you Chris a song. But I am afraid, that
it is hardly possible. I do not know such wonderful melodies and words.
All in comparison with you is insignificant.
I would like to give you Chris dance, the most important on your
life. But if music will cease to play, likely I at once will die.
I every day and every night call happiness. I have lost the way in a
dark wood. Only you in my ideas. All my hopes and dreams are connected
only to you. I want to be with you.
I would like to give you Chris the sky together with the sun which is
born in the East. There where dreams, not reducing flight achieve its
purpose, and are embodied in a reality. There I and you will not be
lonely. I would like to lead you Chris in a garden, there where my good
dreams ripen. Only hardly I can go beside you, because I will become
transfixed with your breath. I would like to give you Chris happiness,
that nobody will challenge. But frequently my heart torn on parts,
because
between us ocean. The God has give me a voice and I would like to sing
a
lullaby to you. But the pain has captured my throat. This pain
cannot be removed with hand, it is impossible to remove with prick.
Only
your kiss can relieve me of my tortures. I have gone mad for love to
you.
My life in your hands. Whisper to me on an ear that you miss me. And I
will be the
happinest woman on Earth. For me you the Angel Divine. Without you it
is terrible.
Give me light in your window. And I will pay to you my fidelity and
tenderness. Take my hand. Tell, that you will be always with me. For
the
sake of these words I am ready on all. Give me spring. Give me autumn.
Give me the fallen yellow leaves. And I will give for you a life.
You have very kind heart. I will necessarily tell Ivan that you worry
about him health. I am sure, he will be happy to find out that you
rendered him such
sign of attention.
You My!
On always yours Ludmila.
Tue Oct 18, 2005
Hi my love Chris!
My working day has comes to an end and I am writing you now. My mood is
very
good. Soon we will be together. Tell me that this is true.
Thanks for a picture. How I like to look at you. Your pictures reflect
your soul. Your pictures tells me every time what you feel, transfers
to
me your emotions. Thanks for all your pictures. I smile and enjoy. Each
your picture brightens my day like gulp of cold spring water in the
heated desert.
Now I have the most intense days in my life.
I shall make the visa for the sake of you. It will be my gift for you
Chris. Ok?
As a rule from 10 applicants only by one received the visa. I have paid
big
enough sum of money to not stand in long queue and to not wait for
consideration
during several months. I never thought that the commission will ask
such
unusualquestions. Me asked about my sexual life, me asked about
children,
about work, about patriotism, about the attitude to America, about my
conversance and awareness of events which happened in the world and in
America, about my religion and belief. I have told about all my life in
detail. I spoke about everything fairly as is really. To me have told
that
my answers are unexpected and as a rule applicants do not answer so
directly and openly such questions. They have not got used to hear such
answers, but they have told what to hear fair and truthful answers it
is
much more pleasant than word which come not from heart and reason.
Children from the orphanage also have made the big impression and
rendered
the big influence on the commission. To me have told that I the first
lady
who have such support from children - orphans. I have given documents
on
my donations in children's homes. These are small donations, but very
few
people do it. From several orphanages I have got support in writing
from
tutors and children. They have convinced the commission, that I the
worthy
person to visit America, because I have accepted responsibility for
children
which I help. I have given characteristics from work. I have shown the
document on my apartment which me was left by Nelia. I have told the
commissions directly and openly, that I dreamed to see your country,
but I
am sure that everything dream of it, even those who speaks that does
not
dream.I want to use chance to visit America. They have been
surprised, because nobody spoke so openly. I have shown them all my
documents testifying that in the childhood I lived in a orphanage
without parents.
I have told that I all my life lived for other people and gave pleasure
and happiness to another's children. What bad in that that I once will
visit other country, once to receive really big pleasure in a life?
They did not expect that I will tell such words. And as you can
believe I could convince them. I simply want to meet you, and to
spend some happy time. It only will help us to learn more
each other. I simply want to spend my vacation with you, and for some
happy time with you I am ready to give much. But the meeting cannot
spoil
our relations. On the contrary. I want to be your visitor some happy
time .
I think that you also will be happy as I. All people meet. But there
is no such law what to meet is possible only after you know about the
person all. On the contrary, as far as it is interesting to learn about
the each other being face to face. It is much more essential than
letters.
You will see my eyes, I will see yours. You will touch my hand, I will
touch yours. We will talk and laugh, whisper each other on an ear
pleasant
words, we will tell about thoughts and feelings, we will dream together
and enjoy joint pastime. It so miraculous. It is such big chance to
learn
more about the each other. It simply a meeting of two very much close
friends but as far as pleasant and long-awaited this meeting, you only
think. Now I wait for the messenger and it a to me will tell, that my
visa is ready.
Please write me what you think, I'll wait for your email. I LOVE
YOU!!!!!!!!
On always yours Ludmila.
Fri Oct 21, 2005
Hi my love Chris! I'm glad to see the letter from you! Every day I thank the God that I found you in this crazy world!!! I never tired to say you Chris that I love you all my heart and I'm waiting this beautiful day when we'll be together and can speak hug and kiss. It will be the best holiday in my life. I want you in my life Chris I want to lie down to sleep with you and wake up with you Chris and everyday. I want to be yours! I think you love me too and we must do all for our meeting, I trust you very much and I'm sure that this day which I'm waiting comes soon because I truly love you and want to be with you, it's my dream now but it's realizable. This day comes nearer, I feel it and I think you feel it too. I want to say hello to you from all my friends they wish love for us. IT's a beautiful life now for me because I have the man which I love. It's you Chris and I don't want to lose you!!!!! We will be together!!!!!!! Yours love Ludmila!
Mon Oct 24, 2005
Hi my love Chris!
This letter from "lucky" lady. Why "lucky", not lucky?
Last night my girlfriend Anna has visited me.
She has been heart-broken, she sobbed. She has informed me, that she
had conversation
with the doctor who treats her son Ivan.And the doctor has informed
that her son Ivan
requires complex surgical operation for the kidneys.Cost of this
operation of 5 thousand dollars.
Anna cried because of helplessness.She has told to me, that she has not
enough money for operation.
She has approximately 2100 dollars, but she need at least in 3000
dollars (initial payment).
Anna knew, that I am going to visit you and that all my savings are
intended for a trip to you.
I could not look how Anna suffers. In the past to year Anna has lost
Sergey, who was her
husband and Ivan's father: he has been killed on the Chechen war.I
could not allow that she
has lost her son. I have taken my money, and we with Anna have gone to
hospital.We have paid
3000 dollars which the doctor demanded (initial payment from 5000
dollars).The doctor has
calmed us and has told that soon Ivan will have surgical operation, and
all will be good.
I think that you would act as well and you do not condemn my act that I
have spent money
which intended for a trip to you: children are the most dear that we
have in our life.
Today I went to visas firm. I was told that my visa was ready at
last,(I send you it's SCAN).
I was most happy the person at that time. But this firm not only makes
visas,it also reserve
tickets. I decided to use their service again. I was told that the
flight to <censored> costed 890.70 USD.
It was too expensive for me, and I asked them to find the cheapest
variant. And they offered.
It would be on the On November, 1. and cost 720.50 USD. I wondered if
it was possible to reserve a ticket and
to pay for it a part of the money this time and the other part later.
But they refused and I was
in despair. I asked them to help me so long that tears came to my eyes.
And they agreed. I wasted all my money, but it wasn't enough. So I went
to pawnshop and
pawned silver and gold embellishments which I had from my Nelia . I got
150 USD and that
was enough for initial payment. I have paid in whole 350.50 USD.
It was my last money. The number of the flight on which I resevered the
ticket is
10:15 am Depart Moscow (SVO) Air France 2745.
Arrive <censored> 9:08 pm United Airlines 6856.
It is very difficult for me to tell you about it. But I have done
everything I can. I paid visa.
I have bought the ticket on a train up to Moscow. I paid a part of the
ticket. But this
money is not enough. I don't want to burden you. I want to reach you
with my own
money but unfortunately I have failed. Now I have to pay the remaining
part.
It is only 370 USD. I must pay this money before October , 26 ,
Otherwise I will lose my money.
If you love me, if you trust me and if you want to see me soon, please,
send the money for the
ticket before on October , 26, tomorrow morning.
I understand that it is a difficult decision for you, but we must trust
each other. Any union without trust is impossible if it is a union of
wife and husband or a union
of boy-friend and girl-friend or a union of business partners. I don't
want to be hypocritical.
That's why I want to tell you following: I do not think that you would
like to give
the love to the woman whom you don't trust. So I am. It's a first check
for us. And much depends
upon it, may be everything. We must trust each other. That's why I was
the first who
made first step. Step to you.
Of course if you don't want you can not help me. It is bad but not
fatal. I will lose my money.
IT IS TOO BAD BUT NOT TOO FATAL .
I speak so because I am in despair and confusion. Now, when we are
divided only with one step,
I am afraid. I am afraid that you will not help, and all my diligence
will be gone. I love you and
I want to be with you and the word of honour, your help is necessary
for me. I have not
calculated my forces. But together we are much stronger. It is much
easier to go through difficulties
and barrier together. I want to present you all my infinite love and
fidelity.
I did not want to ask you. I thought, that I can make all itself. The
loneliness has made me strong.
I have got used to live without the help, and to rely only on myself. I
very seldom address to
somebody for the help, but now I ask you to help me. I have made a step
forward. Make also
you a step towards to me. I hope that has not offended you. I love you
and I trust. I know, that
you will not throw me now when there is only one step.
Tell me Chris, can you help me? If you have an opportunity please help
me. I wonder how it is
possible to do.
There is an International Western Union (by the way, they have a
website,
called www.westernunion.com).
You may send me money using Western Union according
VNESHTORGBANK
50 LET OKTYABRYA PROEZD, 128A
SARATOV , 410052
For Ludmila Romonova.
To get the money, I should tell the employee of bank your full name,
full
address, exact amount and some confidential numbers (Money Transfer
Control Number),
which will be given to you, when you send the money.
I love you very much! I think about you Chris every time.
Forever yours Ludmila .
Tue, 25 Oct 2005
Hi my Chris. I waited your letter with alarm in heart and now I understand why. Of course I am guilty in it. I knew that I should rely only on myself. I really expected to make all. But I could not find all sum and on this I have addressed to you. I have got used to live without any help. But there are moments when I really need help. In it there is nothing surprising. I the person. I am lady. And if I ask about the help a man, I am not ashamed it. I never asked anybody to help me; I always did all what in my forces and never complained of my distress. Pride did not allow me. But I am not omnipotent. I have overcome myself and have addressed to you for the help. I am not God and not all in this world depends on me. And if I ask the help, it only because I really need in help. The word of honor if I could do without your help, I would not began to ask you about the help, if not Ivan's illness. I was helped by Nelia, I have sold dear to me things. I did not want to ask you. But now I stand in front of necessity to address to you. You are last person to whom I has addressed for the help, but not a first. I wanted to make for you a surprise. But I could not. But I have you, you my hope and my support and I think that if I ask you the help, it not a sin. I really want to be with you. I understand that I should make all by itself. But I could not and I leave my destiny in your hands. I need you. I have passed so many difficulties, I have given all for our meeting. I want to apologize once again that I have addressed to you for the help. You do not know what I passed to obtain our meeting. I have overcome so many difficulties to achieve our meeting. It was very difficult. But I was mistaken. It's a pity. I knew that should make all by itself. I knew that it is impossible to hope on the aid. But I am not ashamed, that asked you about the help. I was happy all this time. You say about money. Probably you cannot understand it, but for me it is very big money! But I did not reflect on it. Never in a life had I done such desperate and courageous steps towards to my happiness. I was collected boldness and have made it. But it not enough. I understand that for you is the big money. Forgive me. I did not want to cause you inconvenience. I have made all what I could and I do not regret anything. I have addressed to all and all have helped. I know that lady always should be strong because time of knights has left for a long time ago. I wanted to make a surprise for you and could not. I wanted to give you my love and could not. I have stumbled and have fallen so please, give me your hand, help me to get up. I understand that you have no money, but I too have borrowed money from my friends. Because I really want to meet you because all what I say, all words that I said you - always in all sincerity. Because my feelings is sincere. Because I have opened to you soul because I have told to you about my feelings and about my desire to meet you. I did not waste the words. I have made all to prove to you that my words - words of my heart. You talked to me so many beautiful words. If it is the truth, really you will allow this obstacle to stand between us? But you a man for the sake of whom I did all this; you a man to whom I want to give my heart; in whose arms I want to be; that's why I address to you. I addressed to my friends, but now I address to you. You dear for me a man, a close to my heart. I have not calculated my forces and I ask for the help a man for whom I did all this. For whom I lived all this time, I ask a man, who are more than a friend for me, I ask you, unless it is bad? Together we are much stronger, and to go thru obstacles together is much easier. I will hope for you and I also will search money here. But I really haven't anybody more except of you and my friend Chris. Please forgive me. I hope for you.With all my love and hope. Ludmila.
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